Tummy Troubles

The weather report for Hana called for a chance of rain. We were not deterred. With ocean conditions still a bit rough for snorkeling, this was the best day for a road trip. Getting a group of seven up, fed, packed up and out the door took a bit longer than we hoped, but by 9:00, we were headed East toward our first stop: a doughnut shop.

The Home Maid Bakery in Kahului is strategically located on the way to just about everywhere. With images of hot, fresh malasadas in mind, we were disappointed to learn that their entire stock of the Portuguese-style doughnuts had sold out three hours earlier. We consoled ourselves with other sugary treats and pointed our minivan onto the Hana Highway.

We had discovered a CD at the house which promised to provide a narration of the sights along the highway. Since my 1992 visit, it seemed that ever more entrepreneurs had been competing to sell or rent the most popular cassette tape or CD to the thousands of daily visitors to Hana. This one, however, featured three guys joking around and playing a lot of music. That’s not to say there was no informational content at all, but we were left to rely primarily on our guidebook and map to find our way to the attractions.

After passing sugar cane fields, the road to Hana begins to assume its true character: lush foliage, occasional overcast, and wicked curves that render a 50 mile drive an adventure of three or more hours. A minivan is not the ideal vehicle for this road, since it is not very nimble and acceleration is not very smooth. Although we all consumed a lot of ginger, after less than an hour of light swerving and lurching, we had to make a tummy stop. (I will omit the messy details.)

The road to Hana is blessed with many waterfalls, so I had hoped to explore some of the lesser known ones. Due to recent rains, however, and guidebook descriptions involving “dirt path” and “squishy” we limited ourselves to the easiest ones while we continued to our first major turnoff at Keanae Peninsula. This relatively recently formed land has always been a fantastic place to watch the waves crash on the jagged lava rocks. Now it also features a wonderful banana bread stand.

Aunty Sandy’s consists of a little shack, three picnic tables, a vending machine full of beverages, a tiny kitten, and a couple of birds. Most importantly, there seems to be an oven right there churning out little loaves of banana bread. We had trouble understanding guidebook author Andrew Doughty’s seeming obsession with banana bread, but after eating it hot and fragrant and rich and fluffy straight from the oven, it all became clear. This was a real treat. And not a moment too soon: this would tide us over until lunch.

After tiring of watching the kitten, we continued to the end of the road. The wind-driven waves smashed into the rocks with impressive force. It was an irresistible photo op, but let’s not get too close.

Back on the main highway, we proceeded to Nahiku Marketplace, a very Hawaiian style roadside strip mall of shacks, lean-to’s, and improvised buildings. The taco stand closed just after we arrived, the back-up of orders at the Thai place was too long, so we ended up placing all our orders with Island Chef, a local cook stir-frying various Chinese dishes out of a converted bus. I shared an order of the “butter garlic” shrimp which definitely was not lacking in any of those ingredients. A lemon bar from the adjacent café was delicate and delicious (a fork is recommended: it was hard to get the sticky filling off my fingers with just a little wet wipe). Since it was quite humid here compared with Keanae, we didn’t linger.

We pressed on to the famous black sand beach at Waianapanapa State Park. With the tide high and the sun now permanently hidden by clouds, this was quite not the awesome spectacle I had remembered. Nearby, tourists crowded around the blowhole waiting to see more than a wisp of sea spray emerge. (We saw only one serious dousing.) It was time to make a quick loop through Hana town to complete our journey.

As we headed back, even after 5:00 there was traffic heading to Hana. Now that’s a late start! We did pause to photograph one of the more famous waterfalls, Upper Waikane Falls. Compared with the pretty photo in the guidebook, the water was dirtier and the foliage more overgrown, but the setting still idyllic and the pounding water seemed invigorating.

We made a quick pit stop at the H.A. Baldwin beach park. Here, I saw a surfer under the shower hoist up his dog to rinse it off. He wasn’t amused when I called out to another member of our group to take a photo. Whoops, I sometimes forget that residents are not a tourist attraction.

We headed to Wailuku for the “First Friday” street fair where we expected to find plenty of freshly made local foods. What we found was not just food, but an incredible crush of people and no open chairs. Standing in front of a shop featuring reggae fashions and jewelry, we nibbled on lumpia (deep fried Filipino spring rolls), skewers of BBQ chicken and pork, noodle salad, rice balls, and various stir-frys. I ordered a kalua pork pizza, but it took so long to bake that by the time it was ready, everyone else in the group had scattered to examine the shopping opportunities. I didn’t mean to eat the whole thing, but those extra slices were getting cold and I couldn’t find anyone else, so… I became very, very full.

We ended the evening with a visit to Safeway for more water, fruit, poke, and other breakfast essentials. We would be well fueled for another attempt at local snorkeling: In Which We Use All Three Cars.